Archive for the ‘abstract’ Category

Coming for you

Posted: July 26, 2014 in abstract, love, poetry, Uncategorized

I am coming for you,
leaving aside everything I hold dear in this life
and the ones to come after
I don’t know if I would ever catch you
I will be here waiting for you
till the end of time
until the last star is put out
and the last atom disintegrates unto itself
until the universe collapses

Timeless love

Posted: November 19, 2013 in abstract, fiction, From archives, life, love

With silver-grey hair, wrinkles on the skin resembling brush strokes of modern art, she was walking across. He recognized the twinkle in her eyes from a distance, and he froze. He didn’t think he would ever see her again, he didn’t want to. He wouldn’t be able to, he couldn’t think it possible to see her again and be separate from her; no, that would be too painful, his heart wouldn’t be able to bear that much pain. When he said his last good-bye to her, it was the most painful thing he had ever done. it was like he was leaving behind a part of his soul, the important part; no, it was not really like he was leaving behind a part of him, it was more like it was being torn apart from him brutally. He didn’t think he would survive that severance. Even if he could, he didn’t think it was worth living afterwards. What is life without her, what is there to live for? Whatever he was before he met her, he is not that anymore, in fact he is not anymore, he simply is not. He was transformed that moment when he first met her, no they both transformed. It was a fiery chemical reaction, they met and they lost their individual identities, and they became one. There is no turning back, you can’t get your ingredients back, you have a new compound that was created out of that process. No, they were not each others’ soul-mates; they were two parts of a single soul, each part looking for the other to make it complete, make it whole. The moment they met, they recognized each other as such. They were merged into one, they became a single soul, complete.

Life never looks kindly upon love. It is so cunning, it has its own schemes to beat love. It doesn’t matter how many times love has fought back, and won; it doesn’t matter how many lovers had walked on that path and reached the other end. Life always throws its tantrums at love, why is there so much rivalry? Life is perhaps the evil twin of love, it would never leave it alone. So it was with them as well. They were too drunk in love to notice the doom that was enveloping them. They just jumped into each other  so fast, they lost their heads, and forgot how far apart they really are. In that mighty madness of love, the oceans that separated them didn’t really look like barriers. No, space was too shallow to separate love. But soon, destiny knocked on their door, and she had to leave him. He couldn’t stop her,

So they met once more after all these years. Life has really worn away with time; they have all their life behind them, the madness of youth long gone. Would he ask her “why did you leave me”, or can she ask him why he didn’t pursue her: “why didn’t you come find me? You know, you could have, but yet you didn’t”.

pursuit of suffering

Posted: November 18, 2013 in abstract, fiction, life, love, poetry

I know you by the way you walk,
and your too familiar talk.
I know your movements, and your shadows
I know you for every moment of your existence.
I know you are here to break my heart one more time
I know I am like the moth that runs into the flame with all its passion, just to get burnt.
I know the first time you did this to me, just like I know every other time
Yet, I couldn’t resist coming for you seeking one more moment with you
one more moment of bliss, one more experience, one more suffering
Is it the suffering that I am addicted to, I wonder.
every time it ends the same way –
I am stripped of all that I am, until I dissolve completely into you,
until I exist no more
then I wake up into all this misery that is not mine in a place that doesn’t belong to me,
doing things that I don’t want to.
why did you beckon me with all your intoxicating charm if it isn’t to leave me in this suffering?
Yes, I know you were going to leave me broken-hearted
the moment I heard your call
Why did I come after you, If I knew I would be left in pain,
All my hankering, and pleading in vain?
I knew; I knew you would do this to me
And I know you would do it to me again,
and I wouldn’t resist it the next time either
I am here to suffer in your pursuit after all

I have neither providence, nor time on my side.
nor do I have the sprite of youth
All I have is unwavering faith, and indomitable spirit

No matter how fast I move,
life is always one step ahead of me.
no matter how much I learn
it always finds something new to teach me.
no matter how much I grow
It puts me in situations that I come short of.
no matter how strong I become,
it delivers a stronger blow each time,
that knocks me down off my feet,
and leaves me gasping for breath.
no matter how tall I reach
I always come short of one inch
from the high goals that I want to catch.

I know not, what to ask for
I know not, what to fight for
I don’t know what all this is for
tell me father, in words that I can make sense of
for, my feeble intellect is of no use to know you.
how can I tear away this veil
that separates me from you?
Why did you put me in the middle of all this false glitter
when you know this is not what your child needs

This apparent joy that I know is a mirage
this suffering that is without any meaning
this suffocating helplessness that comes out of their dualistic dance,
what are they for, father?

tell me father, in a language that I can understand
for, my feeble intellect is of no use to know you
how can I learn you, and your creation?
Why do I fail to see you in everything that is your manifestation?

When life imitates fiction

Posted: June 29, 2011 in abstract, life
Tags: ,

If you think you will never find yourself wearing the shoes of a Jane Austen character, you would be mistaken! But then, if you hope for a Jane Austen ending, you would be mistaken too.

Who among us hasn’t experienced a serendipitous moment when ‘you just know it happened for a reason’, and felt we are being guided towards our destiny? What do you do when you suddenly realise that the current predicament that you are in, was the imagination of a famous writer that lived two centuries before you were born? Every so often something incredulous happens to us. The most important thing is not what happens, but how we respond to what happened. Life is no fiction; it could be stranger than fiction, but it is not going to follow a predetermined pattern that leads to a climax that you consider plausible from where you stand. The thing with fiction is there is a writer; every character, every event in that piece of writing has a purpose and takes the plot forward. Life doesn’t come with a plot or a plan for that matter. Life happens; it happens like a cool breeze caressing the blooming blossoms on a lake shore, while the bees are busy collecting their nectar, and spreading the pollen without their knowing. It happens like a giant wave of tsunami capsizing a picnic boat. It just happens. Your job is to live each moment, and experience everything that is thrown your way. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make plans; you should, but you should know when to revise them. You should know when to stop resisting a course correction that you haven’t planned for. You should learn to relax and enjoy the journey when you do have to take a detour.

The road ahead

Posted: June 21, 2011 in abstract, life
Tags: ,

The road ahead is long and rough, it is going to be a tough journey. There are no shortcuts to be found. You won’t find any help on the way. At every turn, You would wonder if you are on the right path. Have faith; When in doubt, keep moving forward. When you think you reached a dead-end, look closely; there is always a way out. When you think you have to stop, take few more steps. May you reach your destination safely.

[This one has been lying in the drafts for a long time. Just stumbled upon it; Can’t stop wondering at the serendipity.]

Why do you come before me
when I’m trying to hide from you.
Where did you disappear all these years
when I so badly needed you?
when I wanted to cry on your shoulder,
when I needed you to wipe my tears,
and kiss my cheeks
Why did you run away from me
when I was desperately holding onto you?
the scars that you left behind are not cured yet,
the stars that stood witness to your treachery
have not fallen yet.
I am not strong enough to face you now; no, not yet!

For a caterpillar stuck in its cocoon, it all would seem pointless, for It is as good as stuck in an eternal darkness. But the truth is, it is just a transformation that is happening. It is a necessary step for it to reach its full potential and emerge as the beautiful butterfly that it is supposed to become. And there is really no way to expedite this process. Nature has to run its course.

Photo credit: Richard Crook

Sometimes life hands over situations that are not unlike that of a caterpillar in its cocoon. It might appear as if you are there for no reason and you might not see any way out. Trust that things are going to get better from there. You are going to emerge as your better self just like that caterpillar is going to see the light of the day as  a beautiful butterfly. Have patience; and don’t dwell on your future butterfly days too much, worrying when and how you are going to reach there. You will reach there when it is time for you to reach there. By focusing too much on the destination you would miss out all the fun in the journey. Embrace life as it is. It is perfect just the way it is. You are going through exactly what you need to go through right this moment. Don’t miss out on now and here because of your worries for the future or the regrets of the past. Show up for life everyday with great enthusiasm, and courage. “If your job is to dance, show up and do your dance.”   That is the most important thing right now. It is pointless to worry about the outcome.  No matter what the situation is, there is always something to smile about. You would notice it when you embrace life and truly live in the present moment. Remember that happiness comes from within. There is absolutely nothing that can make you sad without your consent. Transformation also comes from within. You have the power to change yourself. That is an enormous power that would enable you to change your circumstances and how you perceive them. Realize the power within yourself and it would all be clear as daylight. You would know the path that you have to follow. Keep faith in yourself and keep moving forward.

How did the caterpillar get into a cocoon in the first place? No, it was not forced into it. It worked hard to make that cocoon around itself. It probably had no idea that it is getting itself into a claustrophobic situation. But that is exactly what it did. If it knew what it was getting itself into, it might not have embarked on this path. But this phase is necessary for it to graduate to the next level. Same is true about life. You are here because of your own actions; you chose to reach this point in life. Did you anticipate all the circumstances that were part of being at this particular place in your life? Did you know this is how it would be here, before you reached here? probably not. Nevertheless you chose to be here at this point in time. If you had the power to reach here, you have the power to move out of here as well.

PS: Two days ago while I was stepping out of office, this caterpillar – cocoon metaphor came to mind out of nowhere.  As I walked a little further, there was a dead butterfly in my path. Talk about coincidences!

[drafted: 18 May, 2011 @ 21:45]